When I was about 7 years old, my dad Frank taught me to play poker. I remember sitting with him at the kitchen table, with my sister. Smoking a cigar, he tried to get us to understand the difference between a straight and a flush, where four of a kind fit it, and how one-eyed jacks and deuces could sometimes be wild cards. I loved the game, and hated it, because I always lost. My sister knew how to cheat. She always won.
Frank, my dad, wasn’t an educated man; he had a high-school diploma, and worked as a grocer. He said he was an alumnus of the University of Life, and was a Doctor of Hard Knocks. But he knew his cards, and more than that, he knew how to read people. He was wise in the ways of the world. He could always tell when I was bluffing: he could see it in my shifty little eyes.
Playing poker with him, I learned a lot about life. When to play, when to fold, when to bluff, when not to. How to size up your opponents. He was a bit of a philosopher, my dad Frank. He taught me valuable lessons in those card games. When I was little, he put it this way: “Put your money where your mouth is.” When I got older, he refined that lesson with exquisite precision: “Talk is cheap, but liquor costs money.”
“Put your money where your mouth is. Talk is cheap, but liquor costs money”. Maybe these are not the most elegant sayings, but nevertheless they are very true.
You can imagine how surprised I was when, 15 years later, I heard a similar message from the mouth of St. Ignatius when I first encountered his Spiritual Exercises. “Love,” St. Ignatius says, “is shown more in deeds than in words.”
We hear that same message today in different words, from the mouth of the Lord Jesus. In his parable Jesus tells us of two sons, one who says to his father, “Yes, Yes,” but doesn’t deliver; the other who says “No, No” but finally does what the father wants done.
We live by our words, of course. We give our word as a pledge. We make declarations of love or loyalty, vows and promises, and that is good, very good. But what is better, so much better, is if we put our words into practice: when we follow our words with actions, and we act according to our words. We can profess our faith in God all day and all night long, but we do not act on that faith, then we are liars.
Love is shown more in deeds than in words.
We can promise anything, but if our promises are not followed up by concrete actions, then our words are empty noise, a cymbal crashing or a gong booming. Words united with action become the sweet music of compassion, of caring, of tenderness, of forgiveness, as St. Paul says, “Looking out not for our own good but for the good of others.” This is the message of the life of Jesus, who emptied himself out, who became one with us in all things, in word and deed, even to the point of accepting death for us, a criminal’s death on the cross. The Word became flesh, and gave us an example, a pattern of how we should incarnate our words in action.
The son who said “yes, yes” made noise; the son who said “no, no” but finally did the work before him was precious in the eyes of his father, and loved for his service.
Today’s gospel invites us to move beyond words to action: to care for our brothers and sisters, to act as God our Father and Mother would have us act, as true agents of God’s loving mercy, not just as people who just talk about it and never see it to fulfillment.
Love is shown in deeds more than in words. St. Ignatius had it right. Put your money where your mouth is, Frank said.
And remember, talk is cheap, but liquor costs money.
Rev. Tom Lucas, SJ